t h e c r a p d e a l e r

All they saw was Naruto suddenly trying to claw at his reflection in the water. Liquid splashed around him and kissed the air and his skin, his eyes blue and intense and desperate as words choked with longing and despair echoed in the stunned silence of the golden morning.

"Please, come out. Punch me, kick me, hurt me, anything! Just—" he choked, "—just come out and talk to me! Talk to me, dammit! I don't care if you don't return my feelings! Don't turn away from me now!"

But Sasuke was getting impatient at the idiot's actions—especially this early in the morning after a particularly trying day—so he decided to drag the moron kicking and screaming back to their dumbfounded teammates and hit him to complete consciousness. The word feelings had sickened him to the point of making him want to throw up, but it was the desperation in his rival's eyes that truly got to him. The younger man was hardly ever desperate and it was nowhere near normal, so he himself settled to acting the way he ordinarily acted around the moron as a part of him hoped that the normalcy of his action would return the blond to normal.

There had been nothing normal with Naruto's words and actions, nothing normal about the stark emotions in his whole being. And Sasuke was never good with emotions as he always ignored them, but this was Naruto and he had never learned to ignore the idiot since the first time they met. So he hoped that this was just a lapse, a momentary dip to insanity, and that everything would return to normal quickly.

Because Sasuke was nigh fearless, but in that moment—

"Come out, dammit! Come out and just let me show you!"

He was scared.

Sasuke reached out a steady pale hand and grabbed the kneeling blond's arm. He hated touching too, but this was Naruto and he never really learned to hate him.

"Dobe, it's time to—"

"Let go of me!" Naruto shrieked, whirling around. "Don't you dare touch me again!"

He set his eyes in a glare as his chest twisted painfully. "Usura—"

"Do the world a favor and go to hell, you bastard!"

Sakura was suddenly standing between her teammates, her green eyes confused with a touch of growing anxiety. "Naruto, stop it, we have to go ba—"

"Leave me alone!" Naruto screamed, jumping to his feet. "Go fuck each other and leave me the fuck alone!"

Her temper getting the better of her and her misgivings, Sakura's eyes narrowed to slits and her chakra-powered right fist flew to the blond chuunin's cheek. She was stunned, however, when Naruto caught her wrist and pulled her to him instead—before executing a powerful knee strike square to her unprotected stomach.

Sasuke's eyes widened imperceptibly as Sakura almost crumpled to the ground, clutching her stomach as blood dribbled down her lips. Naruto would rather die than intentionally hurt their female teammate—the idiot was serious and he knew then that Naruto was nowhere near normal.

His eyes narrowed. Unlucky for the moron, Sasuke was serious too.

He shot forward with a right hook, finding himself shocked with the ease that Naruto caught his wrist as he had with Sakura before feeling himself propelled forward by the enraged blond. His Sharingan flared unconsciously, realizing that the idiot was going to do the trick he pulled on Sakura before Naruto raised his left knee—with practiced ease, Sasuke shifted his body to his left.

He was unprepared to be struck by the moron's right side kick to his left temple.

How the fuck did he do that?

An animalistic growl reverberated within the forest and Naruto shot forward. Sasuke, dazed, blinked in surprise when eyes stained crimson with bloodlust blinked within an inch of his face—excited despite himself with the angry hotness of the other's breath—before the crimson-tinted eyes wavered back to pure blue and gently slid shut.

Naruto?

And then his best friend slumped to the grass.

"Sasuke, Sakura, move out," Kakashi said grimly, standing up behind the unconscious blond. He gently took the brash shinobi and placed him on his back, laying Naruto's head on a strong shoulder. Satisfied that his youngest teammate won't fall off, Kakashi went on. "He isn't himself and we need to see Godaime-sama now."

"Hai," Sakura said as Sasuke nodded. She removed her hand over her stomach and the green glow disappeared. Then, she turned to her other teammate, who was looking at Naruto with an odd expression in his usually blank features. She slowly approached him with a raised hand and Sasuke shook his head. Nodding, Sakura secured her pack before turning around to take to the trees.

Minutes later, they reached the borders of Hi no Kuni and broke into a dead run.

 

 

Amber eyes studied the unconscious shinobi with apparent concern, a pair of white hands looking for any physical signs that could give a hint to the mystery before them. Aside from already healing scars on the chest from their earlier encounter, nothing was amiss.

"What happened to the missing nin he fought?" Tsunade asked after settling back on her chair.

"He tried to escape but Naruto won't allow him," Sakura replied. There was a frown on her lips. "He could smell blood from the rogue nin, Shishou. The rogue said that they looted a village before we encountered them."

"So the gaki realized that the blood he smelled was probably from the villagers," Tsunade concluded. She sighed. "It explains why he didn't want to let the missing nin go."

"The rogue he faced appeared to be the leader," Kakashi commented. "Compared to the leader, the missing nin we fought were at least genin level."

"The leader wasn't very good in taijutsu, though," Sakura added. "The rogue was a mid- to long-distance fighter and used jutsu typical of Sunagakure—they're probably Suna missing nin. He could also use genjutsu and he trapped Naruto in one but he managed to dispel it. It was low-level."

"In short, the rogue lost to the gaki," Tsunade commented. "So how did the leader and his minions escaped?"

"He used a jutsu," Sasuke finally spoke up. Amber eyes flickered to him. "Then dobe used kawarimi to replace each of us with a kage bunshin."

"Why," Tsunade started, her brows furrowed, "did Naruto use kawarimi? Unless all of you were trapped, I don't see this making sense."

"We were trapped, Shishou," Sakura said softly. "We had four rogues surrounding us each. Whatever Naruto saw the leader did, he must have sensed that it would affect all of us."

"So he ended up with the brunt of whatever jutsu the rogue leader used. And four times the effect too," Tsunade said. She rubbed her temple. "And then all the rogues vanished, correct?"

"Aa," Kakashi replied. "Kaze shunshin no jutsu."

"Which doesn't leave any trace of chakra because it uses wind and disperses any evidence as the ninja escapes," the Hokage sighed. "What happened to Naruto and his clones?"

"They dispersed," Sakura replied, "and nothing else happened."

"No," Sasuke said, his brows furrowed. "I was near him. I saw Kyuubi."

"Why didn't you say this before?" Kakashi scolded, turning a serious gray eye on the younger man. "Every detail is important, Sasuke."

Sasuke scowled. "Kyuubi comes out when usuratonkachi is emotional," he grunted, his dark eyes glaring at their jounin-sensei. "What the rogue leader said affected him. What the Ichiraku chef says affects him. I dismissed it as such."

"Emotional..." Tsunade murmured. Her eyes darkened. "I have a bad feeling about this."

"Shishou?" Sakura asked uncertainly.

The Hokage's head snapped up. "When you checked Naruto," she said, looking straight into her apprentice's green eyes, "there was nothing strange." At her nod, Tsunade turned to Kakashi, "And when you camped, there was nothing strange as well." At his nod, she turned to the last conscious member of Team Seven, "And when you woke up, you saw him talking to his reflection and he attacked you and Sakura when you tried to stop him."

She leaned back, not waiting for Sasuke's response. She knew the damned Uchiha was too high and mighty to respond when he didn't feel he want to. "The chakra from the jutsu. What was its color?"

"Red," both Kakashi and Sasuke instantly said.

Sakura, however, shook her head. "Typical males and their color-blindedness," she said, almost exasperated. Kakashi curved his visible eye shut while Sasuke glared. "It wasn't red. It was more of fuchsia. More of pink than red, actually."

There was a long silence in the office, when—

"Oh shit we're in trouble," Tsunade mumbled. She placed a hand over her eyes as the three showed varying degrees of surprise from hearing the leader of their village swear. Weary amber eyes looked up. "So we can say the jutsu affected Naruto the morning after the attack. And from what you have said, I can say that this would be—troublesome."

Sasuke's fists were beginning to clench inside the pockets of his chuunin pants. Sakura, sensing her teammate's growing frustration, decided to speak up. "You know the jutsu, Tsunade-shishou?"

The Hokage nodded, her eyes distant. "The jutsu itself could be easy to counter."

"But?"

"But its effect on Naruto—" Tsunade trailed off. She sighed and placed her head upon her hands. "Gaki is one big headache. Why can't he be normal for once?"

"Effect..." Kakashi mused. He ignored the questioning look from Sakura and the peremptory glare from Sasuke as he reflected on the Hokage's words and Naruto's previous actions. A thought flashed in his mind and he stiffened, his back straightening as the early morning strangeness pieced the puzzle together, the evidences to his crazy theory piling up. His two former students quickly turned to him.

"Hokage-sama," the jounin started evenly, "by effects, do you mean what he did this morning?" At Tsunade's nod, his gray eye widened in disbelief.

"Kakashi..." Sasuke growled. He did not appreciate being in the dark.

"It'd be best to show you," Kakashi replied wearily. "Tsunade-sama?"

The Hokage nodded and Kakashi used Kokohi no Jutsu to transform the appearance of a chair into a vanity mirror. Sakura raised an eyebrow, ready to ask a question, but the silver-haired jounin shook his head and raised both hands.

"Kai."

The unconscious blond on the couch shifted before hazy blue eyes opened. Naruto blinked twice then yawned, stretching his arms and yawning once more. His eyes looked around, trying to analyze where he was—from where he sat, he caught a flash of silver and he ignored the sight of his teammates and the Hokage when he saw the mirror.

He immediately sprang up to the mirror and began clawing desperately at the surface.

"C'mon, it's me!" he cried out. His blue eyes glazed with tears as his face contorted in desperation. "Why don't you talk to me anymore? Did I do something? I'll do anything, just don't leave me! Tell me... please, tell me... At least—At least come out, let me show you how much I lo—"

"Suimin no Jutsu."

Naruto's eyelashes, dewy with tears, quickly fluttered shut and he slid down before the mirror. At the silence that followed, Sakura turned to Kakashi, the fear in her eyes the previous morning coming back. "Sensei, the jutsu did that to Naruto, didn't it?" Her wide eyes turned to the grim Hokage. "The jutsu... made Naruto... made him..."

"Fall in love with himself?" Sasuke cut in, incredulous. His dark eyes rolled. "Tch. The dumbass."

"I'll let that slide because for a supposed tensai like you, you lack common sense," Tsunade said, her tone flat and cold. When Sasuke's eyes narrowed, she glared back. "Listen, gaki, and listen good. The jutsu was a magen called Ai no Jutsu."

"... Demonic illusion... of love?" Sakura asked.

Tsunade nodded. "Ai no Jutsu drives a person crazy with love. Its effects is only as powerful as how unrequited the supposed love is. But to start—in most cases, the affected party begins to feel strongly for who meets the affected person's ideal of love.

"The affected person's ideal of love dictates who he or she 'falls in love with.' Let's say the victim's ideal of love is 'someone tall, dark, and handsome with a nunchaku collection.' The person who meets that requirement becomes the affected person's 'true love.'" The Hokage paused, watching her ninja's reactions. She continued when Sakura nodded hesitantly. "When this 'love' is returned, the genjutsu cancels itself. Because the effect of the jutsu is gone, both the victim and the 'true love' are left with the consequences of dealing with a genjutsu-driven love, a false love. Suffice it to say, it ruins many lives with false hope on the part of the victim's 'true love.' Just because a person meets another person's ideal didn't mean he will receive the other's love."

She almost sighed. What she was saying was true based on experience. Dan was nowhere near Tsunade's ideal, but she had fallen deeply for him all the same. And she never regretted it.

"However," she continued, "if the 'true love' does not love the affected person back, he or she becomes literally 'crazy in love.' With increased lust, of course, which makes the victim crazier. It can drive the affected person to do actions he or she would not normally do."

"Like kidnapping, torture, rape," Kakashi listed off, before glancing at the unconscious blond, "and murder."

"And then," Tsunade said, her mouth set in a grim line, "suicide."

"Naruto..." Sakura gasped. Her wide green eyes were brighter on her pale face as they glanced at the blond slumped before his reflection. "Naruto's 'true love,' then, Shishou... it's not himself or anyone, ne? It's—It's—"

"Kyuubi," Sasuke breathed. His stomach churned and his heart twisted in itself. Disbelieving dark eyes stared at the prone figure in front of the false mirror as his nails dug in his palms. "It's Kyuubi."

"Why Kyuubi?" the medic chuunin whispered. "Out of anyone, why Kyuubi?"

"His ideal of love," Kakashi replied simply. He glanced at the chuunin hypnotized into a deep sleep. "An ideal that Kyuubi could literally meet."

Literally meet...

"Someone who's always there," Sasuke said tonelessly.

"Don't turn away from me now!"

He ignored the flare behind his eyes.

"I'll do anything, just don't leave me!"

His eyes were just tired from glaring at the idiots around him.

"What can we do?" Sakura asked, her voice dropping in a whisper. "We can do something, ne?"

"Unless we find the rogue nin or Kyuubi helps, there's nothing else we can do," Tsunade answered. "And the second one is impossible."

Kakashi nodded. "Kyuubi won't even dispel Itachi's Tsukiyomi for Naruto. He won't counter Ai no Jutsu for whatever good reason we can give."

"But Kyuubi knew what's happening to Naruto, right?" Sakura raised an eyebrow. "He would know the effects of this jutsu. He'd know that it could kill Naruto."

An ominous silence settled before it was abruptly shattered.

"The demon knows," Sasuke hissed. "Usuratonkachi can talk to Kyuubi whenever he had to. But Kyuubi is intentionally hiding himself from him."

"The sly demon is waiting for the right time," Tsunade said, agreeing. "Kyuubi despises Konoha, most especially the Uchiha clan. It explains why Naruto attacked you both. The noisy brat was trying to gain Kyuubi's favor to draw him out."

"And the longer that Kyuubi hides from Naruto, the more desperate and crazier Naruto will become," Kakashi said gravely. "It may come to the point that Naruto will kill in hopes of gaining Kyuubi's 'affection' so the demon wouldn't hide from him anymore."

"But Naruto won't do that!" Sakura protested. "He's loyal to all of us!"

"He attacked you, didn't he?" Tsunade pointed out tiredly. All this talking and this latest headache from Team Seven—she really wanted her sake now.

"I provoked him," the medic returned. "I threw a punch and he just countered."

"Don't you often do that?" Tsunade asked. When Sakura averted her eyes, the Hokage's gaze softened. "Look, Sakura. I understand that you're defending him. But we have to be prepared for what he might do, especially with all that he can do. He may be a chuunin officially but he's one of the strongest shinobi in this village. He can defeat me in a fight if he's properly motivated without having to draw on Kyuubi's chakra."

"But Shishou—" Sakura started. Her eyes reflected her anxiety, "—even if Kyuubi does come out, we know that he won't return Naruto's 'love.' He's more likely to incite Naruto to kill for him. The demon might even convince him to give up control of his body so he could be free."

"What we can do is look for the rogue nin to dispel the genjutsu," Kakashi said. He turned to the Hokage. "Though we don't have much time."

At Tsunade's solemn nod, Sasuke raised an eyebrow. "Why?"

"It only takes a short time before the affected person gets desperate enough to kill and to die," Tsunade said. Sasuke blanched and Sakura gasped. The Hokage sighed. "He or she usually takes a day before deciding that he or she can't live with 'unrequited love.'"

"That bastard," Sasuke snarled. Suffer. That missing nin, that monster, would suffer for doing this to Naruto.

"What kind of a monster would use that genjutsu?" Sakura growled. "And to Naruto, of all people?"

"Ai no Jutsu is used by those who themselves suffer from unrequited love," Kakashi explained. "Which does't make... any... oh."

Tsunade turned to the surprised jounin. Studying her subordinate's peculiar expression, her thoughts drifted and her amber eyes began to dawn with shocked understanding. "Kakashi. Don't tell me..." she trailed off.

"I think so, Tsunade-sama," Kakashi said, his eye curving shut in amusement. Tsunade started muttering as she retrieved a bottle of sake from her drawer, uncorking it and drinking its whole content straight from the bottle.

Sakura stared at the Hokage before turning confused eyes to their former jounin-sensei. Seeing the humorous look in the uncovered eye, she sighed. "Really, sensei, this is a bad time for whatever perverted thoughts you're thinking."

"Maa, Sakura. Our rogue nin was shot down by our cute blond chuunin," Kakashi said, a smile underneath his mask. His smile grew at the powerful crimson glare from the prodigy. "The leader did choose to fight Naruto by himself, even if we didn't give them a reason to fight us."

Sakura slapped a hand on her forehead. "All this because an idiot fell in love at first sight with our idiot and was shot down?" she groaned. "This is so stupid. So what, he used Ai no Jutsu to get back at Naruto for rejecting him?"

"Either that, or the leader thought Naruto would fall in love with him," Tsunade replied. "It's a common misconception with this magen. That's why it's a B-rank kinjutsu like Kage Bunshin no Jutsu. It's misunderstood, easy to misuse, and its effects are powerful."

"But why would he use it on us too?" Sakura asked skeptically. "The leader wouldn't want us to," she gagged, "fall in love with him too, right?"

"The leader probably thought it's funny," Kakashi mused. "Imagine having four powerful shinobi of Konoha at the bidding of a Suna missing nin. Imagine four of them killing each other to get his affections."

"Or he's an idiot who wants to avenge himself from humiliation," Sasuke drawled.

"Imagine—"

"Enough," Sakura moaned. "Honestly, this isn't the time for that! Naruto won't be sleeping forever. He only had one day at most before he goes berserk!"

"My wise apprentice is right," Tsunade added, glaring at the male members of Team Seven. Kakashi chuckled sheepishly and Sasuke simply looked away, arms crossed over his chest. "What we can do is find the rogue nin. I want—"

"Pardon, Tsunade-sama," a pleasant voice interrupted. The Hokage banged her head on the desk before throwing a dark glare to the window behind her.

"What is it?" she growled. Her eyebrow twitched as her glare transferred to the sleeping blond, before turning back to the shinobi who had climbed in from her window. "This better be good or I'll throw you back out," Tsunade warned.

Said intruder cocked his head to the side. "Dickless said the window is a good entrance point in the Hokage tower."

"Idiot," Sakura muttered under her breath. She frowned when Sai turned to her with his fake smile.

"What is it?" Tsunade snapped.

"I can't help but overhear your conversation as I listened outside your window, Hokage-sama," Sai said respectfully. At the Hokage's darker glare, the honorary member of the team went on. "Ai no Jutsu is a creation of Danzou back when he was a youth."

"Danzou, a youth?" Tsunade echoed in disbelief. Sakura covered her mouth to prevent an inappropriate giggle from escaping—Kakashi, however, had no qualms about chuckling. Sasuke just stood looking bored as ever.

Sai's brows furrowed. "Danzou is currently a corpse, not a youth," he corrected amiably, glancing once at the indifferent Uchiha before continuing. "The solutions as stated are correct, but there is another solution that no one outside of those who have stealthily borrowed and returned his records knew about. It's how the woman Danzou used the genjutsu upon dispelled it."

"Good for her," Tsunade said, eyes flashing. "If that bastard wasn't dead already, I would have punished him for creating a sick jutsu." Ignoring the confused smile on Sai's face, she waved a hand. "So how did the woman dispel it"

Sai's smile grew. "Her husband released her from it."

Sakura's mouth dropped open. "Danzou had the hots for a married woman?!"

"His sister-in-law, if I'm not mistaken," Sai said placidly.

"He tried to steal his brother's wife?!?"

"Anymore louder and the mirror will shatter, Ugly," the former Root said with lips drawn in a concerned line. "And yes, his brother's wife. That's what a sister-in-law usually is, correct?"

"Why yo—"

"Enough," Tsunade bellowed. Sakura bowed her head in apology and Sai just smiled. She turned to the smiling idiot. "So what you were saying is, we have to find someone who Naruto is truly in love with?"

"Not quite, Hokage-sama," Sai said.

Kakashi slowly nodded in understanding. "I got it. It has to be someone with a love stronger than the love Naruto has for his ideal of love, isn't it?"

"Very intelligent, Kakashi-san," Sai answered. "Only a true love can overcome a false one. There must be a couple of delusional members of the village who are foolishly in love with dickless, like the vocally-deficient Hyuuga bimbo and the new bepimpled tokubetsu jounin Idai idiot. The maladorous blacksmith Asuka slut is a likely candidate as well. Even Ugly here seems to have the hots for him, if the way she glances at him when he wasn't looking anywhere near her washboard chest is any indication like the book I have read stated." He flashed his version of an encouraging smile. "Quite perfect indeed, as her forehead is big enough to make up for his lack of penis."

Not one moved to stop the enraged, red-faced kunoichi from punching Sai to her heart's content.

Sakura's chest heaved in righteous fury. "I'm not in love with him!" she screeched. "And I don't have a washboard chest!"

"I apologize then," Sai said, discreetly wiping his bloody nose with his sleeved arm. "Does the person have to look at his ass whenever the person could, like little homo Uchiha?"

Sasuke watched disinterestedly as Sakura punched the social retard once again.

Tsunade rolled her eyes, used to the antics of the fortified Team Seven. She cleared her throat and immediately got the attention of the team members. "Here's what you will do. Kakashi, I want you to describe to Sai how the leader looks like so he can draw it. I'll have a team of oinin capture the missing nin. Sakura, round up those you think have a fighting chance of releasing Naruto from this genjutsu. Uchiha, I want you to stay with Naruto. When he wakes up, use Suimin to get him back to sleep. You already memorized the hand seals, correct?"

"I can use Sharingan when the dobe wakes up," Sasuke said dully.

"Then? What will you do? Ask the Kyuubi to 'return' his affections?" Tsunade asked sarcastically. Sasuke's cold glare could freeze anyone but the Hokage was unfazed. "How do you think a person must return someone else's affection in this case? Do you think Kyuubi's vocal acceptance is enough?"

"So what does Kyuubi or anyone else have to do to dispel the jutsu?" Sakura asked.

Tsunade leveled her with a flat stare. "An emotion-charged chakra is the most powerful type of chakra. So the person has to kiss him, of course."

A heavy silence settled upon the Hokage's office.

Sai furrowed his brows in his version of profound thinking. "The book I read said sex is the best way to—"

Everyone ignored Sakura as she pummeled the former Root to the floor.

 

 

The two teammates worked together in silence, making sure that their youngest teammate was comfortable in his bed. Sakura went to Naruto's cabinet to look for a cleaner blanket, eyeing the last Uchiha from the corner of her eyes with something close to wonderment. She didn't mind washing Naruto's face—she had offered to do so, as some girls would soon come flocking to kiss him in an attempt to release him from the demonic illusion—but Sasuke had volunteered to do it in his usual silent way. Sasuke was the last person in the world that Sakura thought would ever wash Naruto's face as he slept, but somehow, watching the two now, it looked... natural.

Sasuke sat on the right side of the sleeping figure, squeezing water out of a basin before using the towel to clean his face. Sakura felt her heart warm at the sight—she didn't realize that Sasuke could be so gentle, even loving, like he was a father tending to his feverish child. She thought that Sasuke looked almost... affectionate, but this was Sasuke, and even though she had observed him from afar for a long long time, even though she had envied and accepted the closeness between her two teammates wrought by their twisted friendship, Sakura didn't know him enough to judge what she saw in his eyes that were often so closed off and cold.

But then, they weren't often closed off and cold, she inwardly mused. With Naruto, they were always passionate and alive.

She quietly made her way to the bed and covered Naruto with the blanket. It never snowed in Konoha but everyone could sense the approach of winter—the air was colder now even if it's the peak of afternoon already. Sasuke automatically shifted to allow her room to work, sliding back to his seat when Naruto was bundled enough to be warm and comfortable.

"Don't worry, Sasuke-kun," Sakura said, her voice strangely soft. Somehow, the atmosphere beckoned for such softness—even his genius teammate appeared softer, gentler. Warmer.

Sasuke nodded, not even looking at her as he wiped the already clean tan face. Sakura sat still in the ensuing silence, mesmerized by his long elegant fingers that seemed to linger a little too long on Naruto's whiskered cheeks. Slowly, her spring-green eyes traveled to the handsome face, trying to see through his expressionless visage.

Could it be—

"What is it, Sakura?" his deep voice asked, intruding upon her half-forming thoughts. Blank dark eyes glanced at her before returning to their slumbering friend once more.

Those dark eyes had always been on him, she suddenly thought. He never looked at anyone. Since his return, he never did.

But that was three years ago. Now—

He really cares for him, after all.

And Sakura felt relieved, a weight she hadn't known in her chest suddenly loosening itself. Somehow, she felt more optimistic that Naruto would not be trapped in this illusion for long. Not with Sasuke like this. He cared for few but when he did, he cared deeply. She knew that he would do everything to have his best friend back.

A question that had pulled within her in the Hokage's office popped back into her mind. Somehow, she knew Sasuke could answer her.

"Ne, Sasuke-kun," she started. A raised eyebrow indicated his attention, despite him not pausing at his actions or even looking at her. Used to this, Sakura went on. "Naruto's ideal of love—what made you say that? Wouldn't it be someone who acknowledges him?"

To say Haruno Sakura was a smart girl was an understatement. She knew that in the past, Naruto wanted to be the Hokage to receive the acknowledgment of everyone. But, as time wore on, there was only one person's acknowledgment that began to matter the world to him. An acknowledgment that Naruto would walk through hell and back for.

An acknowledgment that Naruto did walk through hell and back for.

Sasuke paused only to look at her straight in the eye. "He doesn't need it anymore."

Sakura finally allowed herself a contented smile.

 

 

"A missive from Hokage-sama," a detached voice said, "for a team of oinin."

Three masked shinobi paused in cleaning their weapons, turning to their fellow hunter who had spoken. Said oinin was holding two scrolls, one opened and the other yet to be. The tallest hunter raised an open palm and deftly caught the other scroll thrown his way before opening it.

They listened as the female hunter continued. "Suna missing-nin. Hokage-sama already sent a request to the Kazekage of Sunagakure to allow Konoha oinin to apprehend them. The order is capture."

The second scroll was opened, revealing the face of the missing nin they were to capture. Disapproval over the rogue's identity enveloped the atmosphere in the hunter's headquarters. Behind the mask, the other three could hear the grimace in the tallest hunter's voice.

"Kyoujin."

"He attacked a Konoha shinobi team with the genjutsu Magen: Ai no Jutsu," the female oinin went on. "Hokage-sama wants him for a personal interrogation."

The others nodded and stood up. The hunter holding the likeness of the rogue nin nodded back. There was no more need for words—he was the tacitly-chosen leader for this impromptu squad and he accepted the position.

Oinin worked alone—rarely would two or more band together, though they could quickly form a squad in the event that the missing nin was too powerful or too wily to handle or, as in this case, too many. They were fiercely independent but had no problem cooperating so long as the prey was caught—their lifespan was too short for petty squabbles and life became easier for them that way. It was hard to differentiate one from the other anyway, as they all wore the same mask. However, they knew who was behind it. They had to.

They quickly prepared their weapons as their chosen leader uttered some basic instructions along with Kyoujin's information. The tall oinin, it appeared, had fought the missing nin in the Chuunin Exam in the past and had encountered him in the following years during his hunting missions. As Kyoujin was from Suna, he had no right to capture the rogue lest Konohagakure be accused of accumulating information on Suna shinobi. He had a bone to pick against the particular missing nin, though—Kyoujin had once trapped his sister in a particularly vicious genjutsu when she visited a civilian village the rogue happened to pillage, and it was only loyalty to his duty that he didn't hunt the rogue and skewered him with his wakizashi.

The rogue was a native of Sunagakure, a fuuton user with minimal genjutsu knowledge and a weakness against close combat. Kyoujin's only notable jutsu was the magen he had used. The leader of the temporary oinin squad whispered instructions on how to evade the particular genjutsu before fixing his mask firmly on his face.

The briefing and preparation took twenty minutes. Satisfied at their pace, the leader nodded and they took off.

 

 

Satisfied that the blond looked presentable enough, Sakura turned to the Uchiha with another smile. "I'm going to round up—"

Green eyes blurred as pink lashes fluttered—"Sasu—!"—until slowly, gently, like a brown leaf in a dance to its soothing requiem—

—ke-kun?

Haruno Sakura collapsed.

"I can't."

Sasuke caught her before she dropped to the floor.

"I can't let you go."

 

 

The operation was the fastest accomplished operation among the oinin for the month. No sooner had one of the hunters followed the former Root ANBU Sai's inky summon did they find Kyoujin and his company.

Pissed-drunk.

The leader of the squad quickly disabled the drunken rogue—had Kyoujin not been his prey, he would have liquidated the idiot already for committing a crime against the hearing of innocent bystanders. After the encounter, the hunter nin was now certain about another thing on the missing nin—the idiot should be gagged when he's drunk.

The other three oinin had quickly dispatched a missive to Suna, whose shinobi had quickly dispatched a scroll in turn with information on where to find the nearest Suna hunter nin to deliver the crew of fifteen missing nin to. Kyoujin, meanwhile, would be coming to Konohagakure for interrogation by the Godaime Hokage herself.

The leader snorted. This was such a pathetic mission—he had been looking forward to a chase that would give him an excuse to accidentally crack four or so of Kyoujin's ribs. Instead, the missing nin was in a mostly-empty nightclub in the middle of the afternoon, pissed-drunk and humping a mop as he seductively serenaded the poor inanimate object and disgusted the thoroughly repulsed civilians. Not exactly the scenario any of them had anticipated.

Fucker.

He settled instead for gripping the now-unconscious missing nin's right arm harder than usual, and letting the man's legs dangle to accidentally crash into branches and trunks as he raced back to Konoha on foot.

The order was simply capture, anyway.

 

 

After settling the unconscious medic nin on the battered sofa, Sasuke went back to Naruto's bedroom. He glanced around, making sure there were no mirrors or other reflective surfaces that could steal Naruto's attention away, before sitting on the side of the bed and raising his hands.

"Kai."

Immediately, blue eyes shot open.

 

 

She prided herself for not being as judgmental as most people, but it seemed the oinin in front of her had no real love lost for the missing nin brought in. Judging by how he had thrown the rogue on the floor, and by the bruises and bleeding from various scratches on the unconscious man's lower limbs—hmm, his legs are broken—Tsunade could only conclude that the oinin passionately disliked the missing nin.

"Thank you," she said, her amber eyes amused despite the situation. It wasn't everyday that a hunter nin would come traipsing in her office looking like a drowned cat who had to grudgingly give back the canary he had stolen.

The Hokage dismissed the hunter nin with a wave of her hand and the shinobi melted down to the floor. Which only amused her more—the oinin had arrived through her front door dragging the man by a powerful grip on the arm, thereby increasing the accidental bruises and wounds inflicted on the rogue. Those stairs were a bitch too.

After ordering Shizune to call for Kakashi, Tsunade ignored the missing nin drooling on her floor in favor of paperwork. It was twenty minutes later when the rogue started to wake up—hissing, slurring, in pain.

"Glad to see you up," Tsunade said casually, her eyes perusing a paper asking for permission to build a new house in the eastern part of the village. She smirked as the man slurred broken curses some more. She signed the paper with a flourish before stamping it with the seal of the Hokage. She sensed a chakra signature from the window behind her.

Finally, she raised her chilling amber eyes.

"I believe we have some important matters to discuss."

 

 

Sasuke's dark eyes widened in surprise when Naruto's blue eyes fluttered shut again. He forced himself to remain unmoved when he detected the familiar chakra his mind should have registered before.

"What are you doing?" an even voice asked.

He closed his eyes in frustration. He was too slow, too fucking slow—he shouldn't have waited.

He just can't.

"Your task is to make sure Naruto remains asleep, not to wake him," Kakashi drawled. Behind his lazy tone, Sasuke could sense the disapproval lacing the jounin's voice. And while he didn't particularly like it when his former sensei disapproved of him, what they planned to do to release Naruto from this illusion—

He can't—can't accept it.

"And striking poor Sakura too. Tch."

He can't let anyone wake Naruto from his delusion.

Sasuke swallowed hard, his mouth parted a little so he could breathe easier. He forced himself to remain still when Kakashi reached forward and poked Naruto's cheek. He raised an indifferent eyebrow when an eye glanced at him. He ignored the curiosity sparkling in gray.

"There's a change of plans," Kakashi said, answering an unvoiced question. "The oinin brought the missing nin, Kyoujin. Currently hungover and crippled."

Suddenly, Sasuke found it easier to breathe.

Once that man, that Kyoujin, couldn't breathe anymore, only then would Uchiha Sasuke finally allow himself to relax.

 

 

"So what you're saying," Tsunade said calmly, "is that you can't release him from your genjutsu. Did I understand you correctly?"

The missing nin, an admittedly good-looking man named Kyoujin, tried not to shiver under the cool gaze of the Hokage of Konohagakure. "Y-Yes, my lady," he croaked out. He swallowed a whimper when amber eyes darkened.

He was in pain, in deep deep pain—the numbing effects of alcohol had long gone after the Godaime splashed him a bucketful of icy cold water when he woke up. Kyoujin didn't understand what happened, how it happened—less than an hour ago, he was pleasantly buzzed and his limbs were perfectly healthy, with their bones comfortably intact in all the right places. His olive skin was smooth and unblemished despite his numerous jaunts and he was handsome enough that he could charm his way to a one-night stand so early in the morning. Now, now, he couldn't even crawl! And he was bleeding. A lot!

His white-blond hair was matted to his skull and his brown eyes could hardly focus at the Hokage. He looked and felt like a drowned rat and he couldn't stop shivering. Then the fucking shinobi he attacked yesterday appeared in the office and they were all stabbing him with concentrated killing intent leaking out of their carefree and, in the case of that dark-haired ninja, indifferent expressions. Then he was asked a lot of questions and his head wouldn't stop throbbing and he wanted to sleep and never wake up again.

Was it his fault that he couldn't take rejection?

"You attacked my ninja," the beautiful leader said, "because you saw Uzumaki Naruto and wanted to take him. You thought that he'd take one look at you and want you back. When he fought back, you thought he was playing hard to get. You realized somewhere in your thick skull that you thought wrong, so you trapped him in a genjutsu and showed him how you would fuck him so hard he won't get up ever again and lie beneath you through all eternity. When he broke through and, as you said, "rudely declined my generous offer," you struck him with Ai no Jutsu so he'd come running after you and decided to do the same to his teammates just for kicks." Tsunade paused, her figure looming bigger and bigger before the missing nin's eyes. "And now, you can't release him."

Now that she worded it that way, Kyoujin realized that he may be in bigger trouble than he initially thought.

"Y-Y-Yes."

Tsunade's eyes narrowed sharply. "I'm a fair woman so I'll give you another chance. Release Naruto and you'll only suffer under the law of your home village. If you fail—" the Godaime's words turned into a hiss, "—you will suffer under mine."

She leaned back on her chair. "Kakashi. Bring Naruto again."

"Hai, Godaime-sama."

Kakashi stepped forward, Naruto still cradled in his arms. He settled in a half-crouch and waited with sadistic amusement as Kyoujin brought himself closer with the use of his own arms. Kakashi knew that this poor excuse of a shinobi couldn't attack them so they hadn't placed chakra suppressors on the missing nin's body—besides, the man needed his chakra to attempt in releasing Naruto again. Not that Kakashi believed his second attempt would work.

He watched with detached interest as Kyoujin closed his eyes, beads of sweat pouring down his forehead. He was nervous, of that they were all certain—it never ended well when the Hokage, or the Copy Nin, or the last Uchiha, was pissed.

The rogue's unique chakra flared around him and brown eyes opened. Kyoujin formed a one-handed tora seal and blue chakra concentrated on the middle and index fingers. Then, he stabbed it once more to where Naruto's heart was located.

"Kai!"

He glimpsed darkness and burning red.

His blue chakra was suddenly pushed back and Kyoujin found himself on his back for the second time. Damn it, his releasing seal backfired again!

"So..." a deceptively warm voice mused, "you can't."

"P-Pardon, my lady," Kyoujin gasped out. He had to convince her, he had to! "A r-red chakra... b-b-blocking... I—"

"Enough," Tsunade stopped him, almost kindly. But her eyes were hard, and her smile was cold, and Kyoujin knew he should have listened to his elders and never turned his back on his village. All was lost now and he had reached the end of his journey. It was the end.

Kyoujin knew it would be a painful end.

"Saru-san," the Hokage said, addressing a dark shadow that wasn't present in the office before, "bring him to Ibiki. I want his mind broken but not enough that he couldn't feel how I'll punish him later. Also inform Anko she has a new toy tonight."

The ANBU in the monkey mask nodded once and swiftly detained the missing nin weeping incoherently from the floor. The whole thing didn't even last a minute before the two disappeared. When both men were gone, Tsunade finally slouched on her seat. "Useless, useless! That idiot had been nothing but a waste of time," she grumbled.

"Do we bring in our kissers?" Kakashi asked lightly after placing Naruto back on the Hokage's couch. He ignored the minute stiffening of the young Uchiha's shoulders.

"We have no choice," Tsunade said wearily, her eyes frustrated. "Let's just hope that whoever kisses Naruto to sanity would be the one he loves back. Otherwise the poor girl would feel like shit."

"How do you think is that possible?" Sasuke finally asked, his voice tight with cold anger. "Kyuubi blocked the missing nin. What would stop Kyuubi from blocking a girl's pathetic attempt to release usuratonkachi with a kiss?"

The Hokage eyed the handsome chuunin in silence. Tsunade didn't like him, and it was a fact that everybody knew. But Uchiha was a good and hardworking shinobi and he was her gaki's best friend, and so she treated him with a measure of professionalism that she accorded everybody else as a show of impartiality. He still grated on her nerves when he challenged her decisions in his subtle arrogant way—like he was doing now—but if there's one thing Tsunade was sure of, it was that Uchiha Sasuke sincerely, honestly cared for Uzumaki Naruto.

She couldn't claim to say that Uchiha's life revolved around Naruto, or that he was in love with the loudmouthed brat, or that the angsty little punk couldn't live without her adopted younger brother—no one truly knew what went behind the Uchiha's bottomless darkness for eyes, no one save for Naruto—but Tsunade knew Uchiha wouldn't do anything to endanger his best friend. She knew because Uchiha Sasuke had been quietly mending the bond he had tried to break many times in the past, because since that time he willingly came back and helped in the rebuilding of the village, he had hardly left Naruto's side.

After killing Danzou, of course, but Tsunade didn't know that. Honest. She simply wrote it as the elder being accidentally struck by the helpful Uchiha's Kirin when he and Naruto killed Uchiha Madara. It was nobody's fault that Danzou was nearby when Uchiha performed that jutsu. He was simply collateral damage.

Tsunade inwardly snorted. Served the traitorous bastard right.

Her eyes narrowed in thought. The way Uchiha stood before her, though—she wondered if there was more to this vehement disagreement than meets the eye. Tsunade wondered if she may be jumping to conclusions, before inwardly shrugging. If there was, there was nothing she could do about it—she wouldn't meddle because she wasn't meddlesome by nature and she had an entire village to run. Also, a shinobi's personal life was vastly different from his or her professional life—her jurisdiction extended up to work, not play. Unfortunately for him, though, she wasn't just his Hokage—she was Naruto's adopted older sister—not grandmother, that brat—too. Tsunade was entitled to give a warning—like castration—if Naruto were to cry because Uchiha broke his heart.

Of course, these were just speculations. Still—she wondered.

She raised an eyebrow. "Do you have any suggestions?"

"Let me talk to Kyuubi," Sasuke immediately answered. There was no hesitation in the normally blank eyes, only burning determination. For a moment, Tsunade thought that if the color was blue, she would've thought that it was Naruto standing before her, not Uchiha.

It was reason enough, though, for her to consider the insane suggestion.

The Hokage leaned back, her posture receptive. "Then what?"

Convince me.

"Then I," Uchiha Sasuke said, raising his chin haughtily, daringly, confidently, "release Naruto."

Her left eyebrow twitched. Arrogant git. She leaned forward, steepling her fingers together. "Yes," she said. "But how?"

When Uchiha didn't answer, she went on, her voice almost lazy. "You will use your Sharingan. But because Kyuubi refuses to manifest before his host, Kyuubi won't be there. Only Naruto will be there. What can you do that Naruto can't to make Kyuubi appear?"

Another stretch of silence. Amber eyes studied the last Uchiha before widening. Uchiha Sasuke was holding himself stiffly, his silky dark hair gracefully covering his dark eyes—obscuring his thoughts from everyone as Tsunade finally realized what the young man was planning all along.

"It's not Kyuubi, isn't it," the Godaime stated shrewdly. "You want to talk to Naruto."

Uchiha—no, Sasuke... he was Sasuke, not the last of his clan—nodded rigidly. "Aa. Hokage-sama," her title was added almost as an afterthought. This chuunin really couldn't ask a favor to save anyone's life.

Tsunade glanced at the jounin watching their conversation, silently asking for support on her decision. Hatake Kakashi nodded and acted swiftly.

"Kai!"

Eyes blue as the sky immediately shot open.

"Sharingan!"

Devoured by eyes crimson with the will of fire.

 

 

The first time he was here, Sasuke realized how different they really were.

There was no fear, no anxiety—behind his apathetic countenance, he only held a strange sort of anger at the existence of the demon behind the eternally-smiling blond. There was no disgust, no surprise—in some part of his mind, he accepted the presence of the parasite and loathed it at the same time. He had no response, no reaction, nothing, because he couldn't understand what he truly felt when he stood beside his rival, his best friend, beside the bond that refused to break—couldn't break—as they faced the malevolent smile of Kyuubi no Youko.

Here lay an infinite source of power. Here lay an endless spring of chakra. Here lay the king of the demons that could level entire forests with a sinister swipe of a tail.

Here lay the cause of Naruto's suffering.

Whenever his thoughts strayed to Kyuubi, Sasuke realized how different he was to Naruto. Evil lurked beneath flesh and bones and light and laughter, yet it wasn't Naruto who betrayed. It wasn't Naruto who hated. It wasn't Naruto who hurt those who treated him as the demon he held in prison to keep everyone safe. It wasn't him.

And so Naruto was different.

He was different from Sasuke because he suffered and smiled. Because he smiled, knowing that one day everything will be alright. Because he smiled, believing that everything will pay off in the end. Because he smiled for everyone, for Sasuke, for himself—and his smiles were real.

And Sasuke was glad that Naruto was different. Had they been too alike, both of them would have been beyond saving and no one would chase them to the ends of the earth to save them. Both of them would have felt empty, both of them would have found their lives without a purpose. Both of them wouldn't have received another chance to make everything right.

They wouldn't have had each other had they been too alike.

And now, as Sasuke stood among the murky waters for the second time in his life—one time too many, in his opinion—he hoped that Naruto realized that there was one more thing between them that was different yet comfortingly similar at the same time.

"Dobe."

Sasuke's ideal of love was the same as his.

"Uchiha."

But his ideal—

"Kyuubi-sama!"

Sasuke's ideal was real.

 

 

When you could only live for as long as a certain pathetic human existed, you knew that you're somewhere lower than the pits of hell itself. At least, that's what Kyuubi no Youko, most powerful among the youkai, thought whenever he saw the gleaming gold bars of his undesirable home. Which was all the bloody time.

One day, he would derive immense satisfaction from bending those rods glinting mockingly before him.

Kyuubi cursed the day he was sealed, cursed the day he faced the Yondaime of Konoha. Cursed the day Uchiha Madara summoned him, cursed the day the bastard was born. He cursed, and would forever curse, the bastard's filthy bloodline and the village that raised it.

He cursed his jailor as well, despite his grudging respect for the brat—Kyuubi despised him for what he was reduced to. Kyuubi was a prisoner and a benefactor at the same time, both titles he abhorred fiercely—he was meant to be free, he was meant to take and not give, but everything was physically impossible as he burned behind the prison of the brat’s body. Kyuubi loathed him so much more for what he was forced to do—co-exist with not just any creature, but a ningen.

For someone at an unspeakable disadvantage as him, he had to learn to show a measure of congeniality, like keeping to himself so the shits-for-brains excuse-for-a-ninja would not accidentally kill them both, an understandable consequence from juggling two opposing voices in his head at the same time. Not that he wanted to talk to the brat, anyway—Kyuubi found it demeaning to interact with his host, and he tried to keep contact between them minimum at best. Except, of course, when the brat was in danger—he had to preserve himself and look for an opportunity to escape at the same time. He was not Kyuubi no Youko if he didn't seize every opportunity he could.

Like now.

He chuckled with dark pleasure, watching from the shadowed corners of his prison as the brat sought his presence from the opposite side of his cage. Kyuubi could taste the erotic sweetness of the brat’s yearning, could feel the sensual touch of his desperation. He could smell the musky scent of lust and his tails fanned lazily behind him, encouraging the wonderful aroma further to where he lay. The skirmish yesterday had been a mediocre event but it was the aftermath that tickled him so much. Who could have predicted his unpredictable brat's reaction to such a low-level magen only a depraved ningen could dream into reality?

He couldn't wait to show himself and play Kyuubi Says. Couldn't wait until, just as his brat so obviously desired, Kyuubi no Youko took Uzumaki Naruto.

He could see it already, hear it already, taste it already. Fire and lust and screams of pleasure. Of pain, pain, and exquisite pain, of bones crushing from his hot weight, of flesh tearing from his burning claws, of blood gushing from his unending thirst only the screaming ningen beneath him could quench. And that pleasure, that pain, that blood—his kit's taste would be the sweetest taste of all.

It was just unfortunate he couldn't order him to remove the seal. That bastard might appear again.

Now if only the brat would wake up so they could start the game— That one-eyed ningen knew what he was doing—Kyuubi could easily get rid of foreign agents such as poisons or tranquilizers, but a direct attack to the mind, like that blasted special genjutsu Suimin no Jutsu, could only be countered by his host himself. And his idiot of a host wasn't famous for his mental ability too.

His hackles rose at the sudden foul presence.

And then the other brat of that one-eyed ningen, the brat he hated almost as much as his host, suddenly appeared among the murky waters of his lair. Daring to call his tormentor, his prey. Calling the object of his hatred, his lust, his madness, in hopes of taking him away.

He bared his teeth.

Impossible. Just as he wanted to be the only one to kill his kit, he wanted to be the only one to possess him as well. That, and Kyuubi despised all of those with the cursed blood. The kitsune wished to warm his claws with the Uchiha's filthy blood and intoxicate himself with the scent of his decaying corpse. This little dream seemed more probable now, though—it seemed he didn't have to wait for his beautiful toy to wake up. He only had to appear and start the game now.

"Uchiha."

He growled with pleasure when he heard a breathy gasp. He would enjoy hearing that again, that voice breathless in the throes of ecstasy. Of lust. Of death.

His kit's last breath would be music to his ears.

"Kyuubi-sama!" his host repeated breathlessly.

Such perfect, perfect music.

"Kit," Kyuubi purred. He straightened up from where he hid and slowly—seductively—stepped out of the shadows. His host watched him in transfixed hunger, panting hard as he pressed his slim body to the golden cage. Eyes wild and dark and unfocused with heated emotions ravished the sight of the fox demon. The musky scent grew stronger and Kyuubi almost reached out to rip off one of his kit's arms—he only had to be patient and he would have the entire body itself, and he could inhale as much of that lusty musk as he wanted to.

"Kyuubi-sama..." The voice was low, husky, passionate. Kyuubi enjoyed torturing himself as much as he did others, and hearing that voice was such an excruciatingly erotic torture. Kyuubi drew nearer to the cage, a tail going past and sensually wrapping around his kit's thigh. He reveled at the gasp from his sensitive kit and rubbed his tail up, down, up, down, the gasps increasing until his kit threw his head back in a soundless moan of pleasure.

Kyuubi chuckled darkly. His kit did possess a vivid imagination, easily weakened and manipulated by a genjutsu. Maybe he would take his kit and not kill him so soon.

And then his tail was grasping at air.

Ferocious red eyes glared at the emotionless bastard holding his prey tightly to his chest. He had forgotten about the Uchiha brat in that short span of time, and he growled in anger as the strong arms wound tighter around his host. Glazed blue eyes slowly fluttered open before abruptly clearing in horror.

"Kyuubi-sama!" his host cried out. The demon watched delightedly as his toy started thrashing, the only goal in his kit's mind to get out and return to him. He roared with laughter as desperation once again twisted the features of his beautiful prey, as the Uchiha bastard fought to wrap his arms tighter around his panicked host in barely-hidden despair.

He retracted his tail and bared his sharp canines. "You can watch us, Uchiha," Kyuubi offered sadistically. "Or you can join us." The demon licked his lips. "I have nine beautiful tails and I can thrust four of their tips in your tight heat as you writhe and scream." A deep purr. "I will use five on my precious kit, and I will draw one out as he begins to come undone, wrap it around him as he shatters with pleasure only I can give him. Again and again and again." Kyuubi chuckled as the last Uchiha stiffened. "I will even let you have a lick, maybe two. It will be the last taste on your lips." His grin widened. "I feel generous today."

His kit had stilled throughout his speech, the parted pink lips moaning wantonly and blue eyes darkening further in hunger. Shudders visibly ran through the lithe frame and it wasn't hard to see how affected his kit was—Kyuubi could see the proof of his kit's arousal in response to his words. The musk now spread the entire area, strong and sensual and stimulating. The traitor could probably smell it now even with his inferior sense of smell.

Kyuubi grinned. It seemed his prey wasn't averse to sharing.

His kit resumed thrashing, this time with greater fervor. Kyuubi laughed once more as the Uchiha brat was slowly, steadily, bodily dragged by his beautiful kit in intense rut. He couldn't wait to thrust himself inside that pliant ningen. Ram each of his tail inside every hole of that overheated body. Sink his teeth, his claws, on that warm and tender flesh trembling with submission and desire.

"Dammit, dobe!" the traitor snapped. "Stop thinking with your dick! Kyuubi's using you!"

"Kyuubi-sama can use me as he wishes," his kit responded with adoration. The demon purred with approval.

The other pulled back, harder. Kyuubi was amused. "Even destroy Konoha?"

The answer came swiftly. "Yes."

Perfect.

"... This isn't you," the meddlesome brat hissed. The deep voice came out stronger and the traitor started shaking his kit. "Usuratonkachi! Snap out of it!"

In a flash, his kit had reversed their position—it was now the Uchiha brat held captive by his blond host. Without even pausing, his host drew nearer to the cage, the obstinate bastard forced along as he fought back.

"What are you doing?" the traitor growled.

"I'm bringing you to Kyuubi-sama," his pet replied, voice innocently seductive. "He wants you to join us. It would please him."

And then out of nowhere, the Uchiha bastard's fist landed on the whiskered face of his kit. Surprised blue eyes stared up at the glaring blood-red eyes, crimson flashing like lightning and pieces of shattered glass.

Kyuubi roared. He understood. He finally understood what his kit truly was to this traitor. The demon would not allow it. No one owned his kit but Kyuubi no Youko!

"Kill him."

Not even hesitating, his kit jumped up and delivered a series of punches to the stunned Uchiha—the latter blocked them with effort, probably finding his kit's speed better inside his mindscape. He growled in disapproval as the traitor continued his evasion, his kit hissing in frustration and humiliation at failing before the creature he so very much wanted to impress. His pet renewed his efforts, his movements getting faster. Both demon and host chuckled as a couple of punches sailed past the other ninja's defenses, and a particularly vicious punch landed on the bastard's stomach.

Before his kit could pull his fist back to punch once more, the brat grabbed the wrist and pulled. His host, surprised, suddenly found his arm twisted painfully behind him as the other's arm wrapped tightly around his waist.

"Usuratonkachi—"

His kit began thrashing, growling and snapping against the hold of his captor once more. The hand on his arm tightened and twisted the limb further, forcing his chest to arch up as he hissed in fury and pain. The arm on his waist pulled his kit closer to the bastard's chest, trapping the spitfire's arm between their bodies. Kyuubi growled when his host stopped to gasp for air. Hearing the sound, the jinchuuriki—Naruto—fought back in panicked daze.

"No more, dobe, no more," Uchiha Sasuke pleaded softly. "I won't fight back. No more."

The demon gave a sinister chuckle. "Do you expect my kit to listen to you, bozu?" Red chakra—fetid, corrupt, demonic—bubbled past the sealed golden cage, bringing the sinister grin closer to where his kit struggled against the traitor. "My precious kit," Kyuubi purred, "only desired the one who would never leave him." The grin, if possible, grew wider. "The one who never left at all."

When Naruto leaned forward—"Kyuubi-sama..."—Sasuke fiercely pulled him back. "I returned and I'm not leaving, usuratonkachi. I promised, didn't I?"

"Someone who's always there," the demon went on, enjoying how his host resisted the traitor's touch. "Through his sorrow and," Kyuubi chuckled, "pain."

"I would stay with you," Sasuke whispered. He released the twisted arm and spun Naruto to face him, his crimson eyes staring into clouded blue, his hands on the curved shoulders gently grasping the unresponsive young man. "Always with you."

Kyuubi roared with laughter. "My kit wants someone loyal, Uchiha. Someone not you."

Crimson eyes faded to black, warm and honest and full of promises. Sasuke leaned closer, completing the embrace, his lips brushing against the sensitive shell of Naruto's left ear. "Always, always on your side."

"Useless—"

"Naruto, dobe." A warm breath fanned on spiky gold. "Remember. Before I take matters in my own hands and do something I'd regret."

"pathetic ningen—"

A shocked gasp stopped the demon's gloating.

"Sasuke, teme?" an uncertain voice asked.

Sasuke immediately pulled back, dark eyes peering down with rising hope. "Do—"

"Kit," Kyuubi instantly purred. He shouldn't have wasted time taunting his enemy but it was fun while it lasted. He beckoned his prey once more—it was time to end this travesty. "My beautiful, precious kit."

"Kyuubi—sama?" His kit sounded hesitant. As if deciding whether to follow him or not.

Kyuubi growled, displeased. "You didn't finish what I ordered you to."

Sasuke glared at the demon. "Don't listen to that demon, idiot."

Blue eyes were flickering with confusion. "... Bastard?"

"Remember your promise," Sasuke said, his voice cold and harsh, his eyes soft and burning. "Remember mine."

"Kit!"

"I—"

"Remember!"

And suddenly—

"Very good."

Sasuke couldn't breathe.

"I remember—" Naruto gasped out, taking great gulps of air as if it was his first time to breathe. "I remember!" he tried to breathe deeper, wheezing harder. "The hell?!? And why the fuck can't I breathe?!?"

Sasuke's eyes widened and he quickly removed his hands—he had reflexively fought back, strangling the idiot who was accidentally crushing his lungs. Naruto drew lungfuls of air before straightening, clear blue eyes looking at him in surprise and suspicion. "And what the fuck are you doing here?!—Wherever this—oh." Naruto dropped his head. "Kyuubi."

He had been tricked! Tricked by this brat! Kyuubi growled ferociously. "You will regret—"

"Yeah, whatever," Naruto cut off impatiently, rolling his eyes. He turned to the young man still wrapping him in a loose embrace. "I want an explanation, teme." His nose wrinkled. "Somewhere not as smelly as this foul aging fox."

"Blasphe—!"

"Cut it out already!" Naruto growled. "Remember our deal? No bugging each other unless we're dying?"

"Insole—!"

The annoyed ninja played his trump card. "Or do you want my old man after your ass?"

That silenced the ancient demon. Naruto stopped himself from sticking out his tongue. Gullible fox. He didn't have to explain that his old man appeared because he had gone up to eight tails. Let the bastard demon cower.

Sasuke, who had been watching the interaction with incredulity, finally snapped to attention when Naruto grinned at him and winked. Sasuke smirked back and his Sharingan flared once more, his hand reaching out to Kyuubi's dark nose.

"That's unneces—"

Naruto's laughter echoed in the darkness of Kyuubi's watery lair.

 

 

"How long will this take?" the Hokage asked, her amber eyes appraising both her still shinobi. Tsunade didn't like reflecting over a decision already done—she was a gambler and she sometimes had to decide in split-seconds, so she had learned to reflect over responses to possible consequences of her decision instead. As in gambling, she needed a time frame to calculate which consequence was the most possible, to ascertain the best response to the likeliest scenario.

Her mind was sharp, sharp as the claws of the lazy tigress she always appeared to be—she could decide quickly if needed, bet heedlessly if necessary. She could lie bored in one second and pounce in the next. She could gamble everything in a breath.

However, Tsunade wasn't great in gambling. Or pouncing, for that matter. Not when the answer to almost every question in the world could be answered by her fist.

Like answering the question of that missing nin's existence. Tsunade was looking forward to answering that question later. Now to get the answer to that question of hers...

"If this doesn't work, I want those girls lined up," she added. And probably punch that arrogant brat too.

Hatake Kakashi only smiled with that curvy-eye smile of his. "Maa, maa. Yamato said it doesn't take long. Five seconds at be—"

Tsunade quickly turned to the two chuunin, both of them blinking as they adjusted to their surrounding. The Hokage raised an eyebrow, impressed.

Well that didn't take long.

The blond head slowly turned around, perplexed. "Now whe—" Upon sighting her, Naruto broke into a grin and Tsunade finally relaxed. Her gaki was back.

"BAA-CHAN!"

A chair crashed to the wall.

Naruto's grin eased into a cheeky smile. "Now, now, old hag, don't get too sentimental. It's just a week-long mission!" He frowned. "Though I don't really remember how I got here..."

Tsunade looked dryly at his adopted brother. "You don't remember."

"Remember wha—"

The door banged open revealing a blur of pink. "Shishou! Naruto's go—"

"Sakura-chan!" Naruto exclaimed happily. He waved his hands eagerly at his friend, who stopped in shock. Wow. She acted like he had never greeted her before.

"Na—Naruto?!" Sakura gaped. Her shocked green eyes took in the blond's countenance. "You're—Who kissed you?"

He cocked his head in puzzlement. "Eh? Kiss?"

Sakura nodded slowly. "Yes. I was telling Sasu—" She stopped when she finally saw her former crush and her confused eyes formed a glare. "You!"

"Sakura," Sasuke returned blandly.

"You jerk!"

Naruto's jaw dropped open when Sakura swung at Sasuke. She never hit him before. His jaw further dropped when Sasuke didn't evade.

Why didn't Sasuke ever do that for him?

"What the fuck?!?" he exclaimed. Bewildered eyes turned to the amused jounin. "Kakashi-sensei! What the hell happened?"

"Well, a missing nin fell in love with you and trapped you in a demonic illusion because you turned him down, then I put you to an illusory sleep until we can round up your kissers and the missing nin, who failed to release you from the illusion and is suffering right now, then Sasuke begged to use his Sharingan before we can line up your kissers and now you're here," Kakashi said pleasantly. "Oh, and Sasuke struck Sakura to make her sleep," he added. As blue eyes grew more dazed in confusion, the Copy Nin leaned forward in a stage whisper. "So did he kiss you?"

"WHAT?!?"

"I can hear your girly scream, dickless," Sai greeted, appearing on the window behind the Hokage's desk. Tsunade threw him a dark glare once again. "The little homo should shove his tongue down your throat to silence you." As Naruto reddened and spluttered and shrieked broken curses, Sai turned curious eyes to the indifferent Uchiha. "What else can your tongue do? I know that the snake bastard had a uniquely long tongue he liked to use. I heard the pederast taught you a—"

The Godaime stood up, grabbed Sai by the neck, and threw him out of her window. Then she reached forward and grabbed her favorite ninja by his collar.

"Next time," Tsunade said softly, "tell your friend to use the fucking door." When she didn't hear an answer, she glared. "Got it?" she barked.

Naruto swallowed and squeaked. "H-Hai!"

Tsunade released him and sank back to her chair. "Good. Now," she turned to Sasuke, "report."

"I released the idiot," Sasuke replied in an explosively dull monotone.

"Released me from what?" Naruto asked. Tsunade's left eyebrow, already twitching from Sasuke's elaborate answer, was joined by her right.

"Magen, you idiot!" Sakura answered with a punch on said idiot's head. Naruto whined pitifully. "Didn't you hear anything Kakashi-sensei said?"

"It sounded like his late excuses!"

Kakashi ruffled the blond hair with obvious amusement. "Glad to have you back, Naruto." As Naruto shrieked at the offending hand, Kakashi turned to their irritated village leader. "I'd be taking my leave if all is well." At Tsunade's impatient nod, he raised his hand in farewell. "Ja."

"Oi!"

Sakura sighed. "Well, it looks like everything's good. Am I needed for post-medical check-up just in case, Shishou?"

"You've had a long mission and you haven't rested yet," Tsunade answered, before glaring at the dark-haired tensai. "Excluding what your teammate did to you. I'll handle this myself."

"Thank you, Shishou." Sakura smiled. She hugged Naruto and the other happily returned it. "Glad you're back," she whispered, before turning narrowed green eyes to the watching Uchiha. Sakura tried to see what could be behind those dark eyes but, as usual, she couldn't see past his blank gaze.

"And you owe me dinner," Sakura demanded. She wanted answers for what Sasuke did to her—it was unwarranted, in her opinion, and she deserved to at least have an idea. Still, she was surprised when Sasuke nodded once before turning to the more interesting sight of the office wall. Sakura's green eyes were wide with wonder when she left. In the years she had asked him out, Sasuke had never agreed.

She was really curious now.

"So..." Naruto finally said when the three were left alone. "Can someone tell me what happened? In an... easier to understand way or something?"

Tsunade sighed. Sasuke stared at him blankly.

"I'm going."

"Teme!"

The Godaime rubbed her temple. She should really be used to it by now. She ignored the grumbled curses as she pointed to a chair, her other hand pulling out a bottle of sake once again along with her favorite saucer. The day had been insane and long, and she felt she deserved a reward for the capture of a missing nin and the aversion of a possible catastrophe in the form of a love-delusioned blond shinobi. If she could grow a hand behind her to pat herself on the back, she would.

"Sit down, gaki. This would take long." Fucking long, dammit. Why did she accept being a Hokage again? Ah yes, because of the idiot in front of him.

When said idiot protested, Tsunade rolled her eyes. "I can examine you now and not tell you why. And make sure it's unpleasant."

She smirked when Naruto abruptly sat down.

"Very good."

Only a true love, huh...

 

 

Uzumaki Naruto trudged wearily back to his apartment. Tsunade's explanation had taken the better half of the late afternoon, and with frequent interruptions from a Sai who seemed to get off on pain and an Anko who busted in the office to giggle randomly as she waited for her turn to play—whatever the fuck that was supposed to mean—the talk lasted well into evening. Well, it's not really the other two's fault, he grudgingly conceded. For some reason, the Hokage chose this day to be drunk off her ass—and retell the entire sad story of Naruto the Sleeping Love Machine with empty sake bottles as characters.

Naruto understood that the old hag was probably stressed, but did she have to punch him when he remarked that the Naruto sake bottle looked like a pregnant blond old hag?

He had been horrified at what he learned and had felt a sharp guilt over what he had done to his teammates. Tsunade had simply reached forward and hit him upside the head before continuing with her show. Naruto was glad.

He was especially glad when Tsunade called Shizune to bring Tonton to her. Tonton was made to act as the Kyuubi and the Hokage asked him to continue the story for her. Naruto said he didn't remember what happened there too, other than waking up to Sasuke strangling him in front of the demon. It's just great that Naruto was used to being strangled, which was kinda sad and funny as shit as the same time. As Tonton did his best impression of Kyuubi's growl, a drunken Tsunade made the Sasuke sake bottle strangle the Naruto sake bottle with invisible hands.

Naruto knew it was the old hag's way of making him feel better and he was thankful for that. If her reaction to his spontaneous hug was any indication, Tsunade was glad she did it too. Even drunkenly.

"But she should've let me out early," he grumbled as he pushed open his unlocked apartment door. Ichiraku was already closed when he dropped by and he was hungry as hell.

"Tadaima."

He locked the door behind him—he only ever locked at night—and switched on the light, taking off his jacket as he headed to his kitchen. He knew he still had a cup ramen left and he decided to do his grocery tomorrow. As he dropped his jacket on a chair, he stopped short.

A big steaming bowl of ramen sat happily on his table.

Naruto grinned and quickly plopped down, picked his chopsticks—"Itadakimasu!"—and inhaled the godly noodles. His smile never left as he chewed and swallowed, his cheeks bunched up in gratitude to the person who made it for him. The temperature was just right, the taste perfect—it was homemade and it was delicious, and even if the noodles had been soggy and the soup too salty, it would still be the most delicious ramen in the world to him.

He finished in his usual speed and placed the empty bowl almost reverently on his sink. On a whim, he reached up and opened his cupboard—he was greeted by rows and rows of delightful cup ramen.

Naruto's eyes were happily curved as he padded to his bathroom. He stripped to his boxers and washed himself, then brushed his teeth as he hummed cheerfully. For such a potentially disastrous day, it was ending in a very pleasant way.

With a last grin at his reflection—"Hey there, good-looking"—he left his bathroom, dropping his clothes on the hamper on his way to his bedroom. He almost giggled in anticipation. Nothing like a good sleep to end the day perfectly.

He raised his hand and yawned. For someone forced to sleep through a good part of the day, he sure felt sleepy. The old hag said it was because the magen had been taxing on his mind. Snorting to himself, he opened the door to his bedroom, intent on forgetting the entire business and going to sleep.

Naruto yawned once more, loudly this time, and raised his blanket, climbing up his bed and sighing as warmth covered his bare skin. He sometimes forgot how chilly the night around this time could be. But despite the coldness from the open window, he felt warmth.

"Okaeri," a sleepy voice murmured.

Naruto smiled drowsily as a pale arm reached out and drew him closer. He could hear the even heartbeat beneath the moonlit chest, and Naruto sighed when his lips touched its solid warmth. He smiled again when the heartbeat sped up before gradually returning to its normal pace.

"Why didn't you kiss me?" he asked softly.

A drowsy snort. "You're thinking of someone else."

He smiled. The arm around him drew tighter.

"This isn't an illusion, na?" Naruto whispered sleepily. So he was sappy. So what? He was entitled to be after this weird day. Especially after he was rescued. It was a crush to his manly pride but for this prick beside him—

He could live with it.

The dark eyes remained closed and his blue eyes slowly slid shut. He'd pester tomorrow if he didn't hear anything in five seconds. The jerk.

"Reality, dobe," Sasuke leaned forward and kissed Naruto's brow, his black eyes opening and glimmering with emotions, "is where I'm always on your side." A kiss on the nose. "Believe that." A soft nip. "Idiot."

"Sorry," Naruto murmured back. He was too comfortable to start a playful fight. Besides, he was happy. The asshole answered. In six seconds, though. Asshole. "Shouldn't have doubted a bastard like you."

"Hn."

With a gentle kiss on the smiling lips, dark eyes closed once again and the lovers drifted off into a peaceful sleep.

 

O m a k e

 

"Hn."

Naruto rolled his eyes at the stock answer. "Asshole."

Sasuke snorted and ignored him. Naruto tried another question.

"So what did Kyuubi want?" he asked on his third pancake. He watched, fascinated, as muscles corded beneath ivory skin when Sasuke raised the pan and flipped another batch of pancakes. He drooled at the sight. This was the best part of Sasuke sleeping over—Naruto got to see the bastard in boxers and orange apron to cook breakfast for him.

He grinned. Okay, not really the best. One of the best.

Sasuke flipped again.

One of the many, many bests. Hmm...

Of course, Naruto did the same for Sasuke when he slept over the bastard's house. Except the asshole wanted him in blue apron as Naruto cooked.

Only in blue apron.

Still, the jerk could answer, he thought, annoyed, as he stabbed his pancake swimming in maple syrup. Or the asshole was just mocking him again. Asshole.

Naruto grumbled as he raised his glass of milk. Jerk.

"A threesome."

He choked and spluttered on his milk.

"A what?!?"

Sasuke gave a long-suffering sigh as he dumped the pile of pancakes on the table. He gracefully sat down across the blond and picked up his fork.

"Itadakimasu," Sasuke murmured. He brought a pancake to his plate and started eating like the noble-born prissy bastard he was, cutting the pancake into prissy little pieces. Prissy bastard.

"Temeeeeeeeeee!"

Sasuke raised an eyebrow as he brought his fork to his lips.

"What'd you mean Kyuubi wanted a threesome?" Naruto asked, his brows furrowed. "I mean, only you could see in my mind because of your Sharingan, na?"

Sasuke raised his other hand to his eyes. He didn't need this. "With him. A threesome with him."

"But hey, of course!" Naruto babbled on, blue eyes bright. Sasuke resigned himself to listening. He'd shut the idiot later when he's full. "You're not the only one with Sharingan here!" Sasuke stilled. The other continued, cheerfully oblivious. "You think Kakashi-sensei's up for it?"

The grip on his fork tightened as he glared at his offensive pancake. He missed the spark of mischief in Naruto's blue eyes. "Ask Iruka," Sasuke said, his voice tight.

"What'd Iruka-sensei have to do with a threesome?" Naruto asked innocently. Then, his mouth formed into an 'o' as blue eyes rounded in shock. "You perverted bastard. You want a foursome!" he pointed in accusation. "And Iruka-sensei's like my dad! That's—" His face scrunched up in thought. "That's kinky, actually."

A growl.

"I mean eww. Yeah. Ewwwwwww, teme, pervert!"

Sasuke snapped. "Shut up, dobe."

"Okay, threesome it is," Naruto said with a disarming smile. He ignored the eyes glaring death across him. "So you think I should ask Kakashi-sensei? Or maybe you'd want to ask yourself?"

Sasuke stood up, dragged him diagonally across the table, and replied with a bruising kiss. Naruto surfaced later gasping for air, Sasuke smirking smugly and not even panting. Katon jutsu were excellent for lungs—any Uchiha could probably be a swimmer if they didn't love fire so much.

Naruto plopped back to his chair in a daze. Damn Sasuke was so good. So good in everything, he sighed happily. He gazed at the pile of golden brown pancakes.

Everything.

With a contented sigh, he took the maple syrup bottle and drowned another innocent pancake. He paused briefly, an idea sparking in his mind. With a hidden smile, he chucked the bottle to his dark-haired lover.

Sasuke caught it without looking. He raised his eyes with an irritated frown and threw it back. "Usuratonkachi. You know I hate—"

—sweets.

Naruto inwardly crowed, feeling the bastard's dark eyes all over him. Cold maple syrup danced down his bare chest, complementing his golden tan and clinging to his skin. Blue eyes coyly peeked beneath golden lashes as he awaited his lover's reaction, lips puckered in seductive invitation.

Come on, bastard...

Sasuke stared blankly.

Blinked.

And went back to his pancakes.

Naruto dropped his jaw in shock. The asshole! As the syrup dripped down his stomach, another idea popped in his mind.

Never let anyone say that Uzumaki Naruto ever gave up.

"Kage bunshin no jutsu!"

Dark eyes looked up and blinked slowly—

"Henge!"

—and widened when the smoke dispersed to reveal another Naruto—a Naruto with furry fox ears and nine bloody long tails—

—who immediately latched onto his dobe's chest and fucking licked.

Licked!

"So good," Naruto moaned loudly. From his periphery, Sasuke twitched. He inwardly smirked. "So good, Kyuubi-sama!"

With an uncharacteristic roar, Sasuke jumped over the table and pounced on the mischievous blond. The clone vanished with a yell of protest as the crimson-eyed Uchiha launched an offensive of licks and nips and possessive bites, growling as Naruto writhed and groaned and arched beneath him. Naruto dug sharp nails on Sasuke's back before traveling down to cup the firm round ass, forcing the cheeks apart and kneading with equal possessiveness. A tan hand slipped beneath the silky blue boxers, itching to touch feverish white-hot skin and that slick, tantalizing heat. In fierce—burning—retaliation, a pale hand clawed past heated flat stomach to tear down orange boxe—

"Ah, young love," Kakashi chuckled. The lovers stopped, Sasuke's hand over the orange boxers and Naruto's hand slipping inside the blue one. "This isn't a bad time, is it?" he asked innocently.

Two deep growls.

Kakashi curved an eye shut. So Sasuke was really the only one who could release Naruto.

He giggled somewhere in his perverse soul. Release.

"Mind if I join you?"

When Hatake Kakashi woke up five hours later in the hospital's east wing, he thought Sasuke was a terribly possessive bastard with no sense of humor.

Chidori was overkill.